Reclaiming the Catfish Gospel Blog

This has been an interesting year of blogging for me. I confess I have fewer posts than I'd hoped, and I have blurred the lines of what the "Catfish Gospel Blog" was intended to be. I have decided to reclaim this blog for what it should be: journaling my observations of gospel redemption in a messy world. From here on out, that's what it will be. For those of you who only watch this blog for posts about my family, I have created a new blog for that. The address is codyvilla.blogspot.com, and you can subscribe to the feed on that page. I will make every attempt to post more pictures of JC and the family this year, as I know I have not met some of y'all's standards thus far. I do hope many of you will enjoy the posts on this blog in the coming year.

I am also beginning a third blog project in 2008 (that's right - three blogs!). Check out lightyoke.blogspot.com for more info on that project. It should be interesting! So, if you haven't subscribed to my blogs yet, here they are in random order:

codyvilla.blogspot.com - an informal blog with pictures and info about my family.
catfishgospel.blogspot.com - Observations of gospel redemption in a messy world.
lightyoke.blogspot.com - Testing the "Light Yoke." A quest for discipline.

Free Lunch

Free lunch is always a good thing...almost always. It's not a good thing when the manager of the restaurant is "comping" your lunch with his sincerest apologies!

JC and I spent much of the morning Christmas shopping, and Kristen was shopping separately with her sister Allison. We decided to meet up for lunch, even though JC and I had already eaten. Since only Kristen and Ali would eat, we decided to go somewhere nice at Village Pointe. Alli and I ordered waters, and Kristen ordered a diet coke. So far so good...

When the waiter came back with our drinks, he set Alli's water down, then reached Kristen's coke to her, and somehow in the reaching process lost control of my water, which was still on his tray, which was hovering somewhere over JC's head. What transpired may give me nightmares for a week. The water - no, ICE water - spilled, overflowing the drink tray and proceeding to DRENCH my son right before my eyes. The icy flow began about mid-scalp, wetting his bangs down to his eyebrows as if he was taking a bath. His face and eyes were downstream, and they too were soaked. As the waiter (who was surely by now tasting both his heart and his stomach at the same time) tried to catch what he could, he threw water my direction. I can't complain much about the water spots on my pants, as JC had to remove much of his clothing.

JC's response: Much wailing & flailing.
Dad's response: Pick him up, dry him off...not enough...
Mom's response: Take him to the bathroom and do whatever it is that moms do best, which worked well. Within a few minutes, he was back at the table as if nothing had happened.

Needless to say, our lunch was free. The waiter apologized at least six times. The manager thanked us for handling it so well...I'm not sure what good it would have done to be really mad about it. It could have been the glass that hit him instead of the water, or worse, the water could have been hot. We all had a good laugh about it at the end of lunch, and we still left a tip. I bet the kid was surprised, but I hope it helps spread a little Christmas cheer. If nothing else, he'll remember the day he dumped ice-water on a baby and still got a tip! HA! I love that. Anyway, the moral of the story is, it could always be worse. OR Free lunch is always worth it...thanks, JC, for taking one for the team.

THE GREATEST FIGHT SCENE

Yeah, this is worth a re-post. Thanks, Jared...I'll never get those two minutes back again!

FROM GREG ADKINS: “What you are about to see is completely unbelievable. Yes, more amazing than any Steve Perry sound alike in a hotel lobby could ever be. This is the greatest fight scene ever. I don't care what movie you want to stack against this, I guarantee you it will lose. This is hands down the greatest thing I have ever seen.


The scene is from a 1985 film called Gymkata. It's about an olympic gymnist who is also a ninja. He has invented a new style of martial arts called Gymkata that combines gymnastics and karate. The movie is NOT a comedy. I repeat, this is not intentionally funny.


Things of note: (1) The sound effects are probably the best I have ever heard. (2) The crowd shots of the angry mob. Awesome. (3) The classic ninja movie rule is in effect here... a crowd of ninjas / villagers / goons can only attack the hero one at a time. Under no circumstances may all of the bad guys attack at the same time. (4) Whenever I get attacked by an angry mob, the first thing I look for is a pommel horse.


Enough talking... enjoy. Please comment with your immediate thoughts. Mine were HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA THIS CAN'T BE REAL LET ME CHECK WIKIPEDIA OKAY IT'S REAL HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.”

Great Quote on Worship

Is your worship service about you serving the Lord (cf., Acts 17:25)? Or, is your worship service about the Lord serving you and then your responding in faith with an Amen to all that God has done for you in Christ (Guilt/Grace/Gratitude)?

To read more: http://gospeldriven.wordpress.com/2007/12/03/what-is-worship/

Innovation: On the Shoulders of Giants

Ok, so this is a truly innovative invention...modified only slightly. Interesting, though - it was invented for those who can't, and now those who can want to use it to. Watch and understand...

Tacos for Tots

Paying it Forward 20 Years

The link above is to a news article about my dad. I'm pretty proud of him. You can follow the link to read about the Tacos for Tots event.

Wave of Sorrows

One of my favorite rock albums is "Joshua Tree" by U2. Check out this video of Bono describing and singing a song that was written for the album but was not finished until now. Truly amazing.

www.ilike.com/u2

$2,600.00

$2,600 would buy me a pretty sweet new iMac, now shipping with the Leopard OS. With a bit of software, I could be up and running with my own home production studio. And more than that, it would look sweet sitting on my desk. In fact, now that I've been obsessing about it, I can't really look at my desk without picturing it right there between my PC and my iBook. "Look at you, iMac! All self-contained!"

$2,600 dollars, and it would be mine. I could consider it an investment. A business investment of sorts that will produce income once things get rolling. A couple big projects and it practically pays for itself! I'm actually losing money by not buying it, right? Yeah, that's right...keep convincing me. I can be won over with a good argument. It's not just something I want, I NEED an iMac!

$2,600 consumes my mind as I drive to lunch. Mondays are my day off, so JC and I hang out together and do father/son stuff. As I drive to meet Kristen at her school (the new job is going great by the way), the radio is on, but my mind is still panning through the loads of images apple.com has of its products. I saw them over and over during JC's morning nap. I know I'm obsessing, but it's such a fun obsession. And I could do a lot of good with an iMac. I just can't figure out how I lived this long without one.

$2,600 is hard to come by...I have a lot of bills, and it would take me a long time to save that much money. It's probably not a reality, so I need to get my mind off this stuff. The radio isn't helpful. It rarely is. I've heard each station three times...I guess I'll just listen to the interview on the local Christian radio station. There's a sweet Jamaican accent speaking! Typical...he's asking for money. "If ya save ya change fram naw til Christmas, you could save arawnd $130. That would help a poor Jamaican family." Typical...if I saved my change from now til Christmas, I would be $2,470 away from my iMac! Then the DJ came back on. I'll admit, there was a lot of passion in the man's voice, and he seemed to be moving the DJ enough to plead with us. "That's right folks. $87 will build a foundation for a new home. $160 covers the cost of a roof. $335 provides two windows, a door and a frame. And for $2,600 you could build an entire home for a poor family in Jamaica."

$2,600. I spent the morning obsessing - just short of praying to God - for $2,600. I want to put a fancy computer screen in the corner of my home office. I want to set it next to the two computers I already have, across the room from the TV, down the stairs from the stereo, down the hall from the TV in my bedroom where I set my Motorola cell phone every night as I lay my head down in the most comfortable bed we could find when we got married. I'll wake up, complain about the chill in the bedroom as I walk 5 feet to my double sink bathroom, and heat up the shower for a couple minutes before standing under the hottest water I can stand for at least 15 minutes. Then I'll go to my stainless steel fridge and complain about my food selection, and since I can't make up my mind, I'll just get McDonald's breakfast on my way to work in my new (to me) van. When I get to work, I'll push the button that opens the door of the van so JC can get out and go in to the daycare where he gets well cared for and fed.

$2,600 - if only I had the money for that new iMac, my possessions would be complete. Well...sort of. Once I have a new iMac, I'd soon need to upgrade that phone of mine to an iPhone. After all, why wouldn't I want to connect to my computer from...everywhere. I'd probably have to have an apple tv unit, too, because my 24" iMac isn't big enough to watch the movies I just bought. Oh, but my TV I have now isn't compatible...oh well, for another $2,600 I could have the biggest tv in the store! I really don't NEED one that big...I wonder what I can get for half that? $1,300 will still buy me a sweet TV.

$2,600 means a lot more to a poor family in Jamaica. It means a cement foundation, a roof, two windows and a door, and walls. I don't know if any of that goes towards pluming or not. And they didn't say anything about a fridge, tv, bed, or cell phone. And I'm guessing there's not an apple store in this part of Jamaica. But they don't need those things. They need the things I take for granted. The things I've never been without for even one day.

$2,600 would take me about a year to save, maybe more. I'm over-extended because of all the things I want. In a year, I could put a shiny new iMac on my desk. Or, 12 months from now a family could move into a new home that my money built, the money I saved for them. They could know what it's like to wake up with their own roof over their heads because of my generosity.

$2,600 is my obsession. As I pulled up to Kristen's school, I wiped the tears from my eyes, turned the radio down, and greeted my wife. Over lunch we discussed the remaining luxuries in our lives we can cut out. I will save $2,600. And through prayer and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I will condition myself to be generous with the blessings God has given me. $2,600 is a lot of money to me, and I can't wait to experience the blessing of being a blessing when I can give $2,600 away to someone who needs it more than I want it.


KGBI Omaha - Food for the Poor

Long Day

Well, it's been a long day, but we're here in Swea City visiting my parents and family. JC had fun with grandpa tonight, and after a little fight, he and Kristen went up to bed. I want so badly to be able to post the pictures/video of the following story, but my Motorola SLVR and my iBook are not friends...according to the internet.


I was just sitting at the kitchen table catching up on my blog reading, when suddenly my dad started saying something to my mom about the oven smoking. I didn't think much of it because when I lived at home, these kinds of arguments were pretty frequent:
dad: what's burning?
mom: nothing! It's fine...it just dripped a little in the oven.
dad: it smells awful! It's smoking!
mom: don't worry about it. leave my kitchen alone!

and so on, and so on with playful arguing over mom's cooking...no big deal. Well, tonight mom used the wrong pan to make chocolate chip bars, and the bars over-flowed the pan while baking. There was some serious smoke, and lots of drippage, but for some reason mom decided the bars that were still in the pan were more important than the bars on the bottom of the oven, touching the burner! Sure enough, a couple minutes later the smoke was back, and where there's smoke...THERE'S A FIRE!!! Flames, rising up from the bottom of the oven. Mom was surprisingly calm, while dad freaked out. The flaming bars were scraped off the burner, and the half-baked pan of chocolate chip bars seemed to be in the clear. Only problem: the pan was still overflowing.

What happened next needs pictures to make it work...and hopefully I'll have them tomorrow. Let's just say, this is the first time I've not been able to differentiate an electric oven for a wood-burning oven. Dad was scraping with a spatula, mom was now freaking out, and I was in the middle of things snapping pictures and video with my phone, laughing my head off! It's good to be home...minus the smoke inhalation damage.

The Gospel According to Jesus (2 of 2)

In Matthew 18, Jesus teaches Peter about forgiveness. Here are a few facts:

• Jewish law said one must forgive 3 times. Peter asked Jesus if 7 was enough, realizing that things were different with Jesus, and expecting that 3 was not enough.
• Whether Jesus said 77 or 70*7, he means a lot.
• In the parable, the 10,000 talents equals about $6 billion dollars in Omaha today. 100 Denarri equals about $16,000.

Gavin made a couple great observations in his talk at the college ministry he pastors. First of all, 16k is not a small number. Often we think of the story like the second amount is 50 cents or so, but it's much more than that. Gavin pointed out that Jesus probably picked this number intentionally, as if to say "I realize you have HUGE debts to forgive yourself." Jesus realizes forgiveness doesn't come easy, and in many cases can't happen when we try to do it ourselves.

What really sticks out to me now from this passage is the last line Jesus says. He tells Peter that forgiveness comes from the heart. This is huge! I am really bad at this kind of forgiveness. I am fairly good at forgiveness of the mind, in that I can rationalize anything to the point where I can let it go. There are also times where I just "make up my mind" to let it go. But forgiveness of the heart...there's a whole 'nother deal. I understand the heart to be the part of the human being synonymous with the will, or the character. It's who you are under the hood. And our actions flow from the heart/will/character. So for us to forgive from the heart, it means we are the kind of people who naturally have forgiveness flowing out of us. This is not a decision made or a hand shaken. This is a change of who you are inside.

How do I change who I am? Unfortunately, you can't. You are who you are. But by adding an outside force to the equation, you might have a standing chance. In order to change your heart/will/character, you must allow it to be influenced by something outside yourself. Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit is in the business of changing hearts. But so are many other driving forces in our world. When we look to Jesus to form our heart/will/character after his own, he is faithful to interact with us. So forgiveness becomes less about the person who is forgiven and more about the heart of the forgiver.

We have been forgiven for much more than 10,000 days wages; the wages of our sin is death. We should have to pay the debt we owe with our lives. But we don't. Instead we have a chance to share in the glory of God, and not as servants, but as heirs to the throne! Still, some of us are not able to forgive the people in our lives who have hurt us. Some of our wounds go too deep to heal. So we carry around a burden. We take it as ours to bear. And it eats away at us. Jesus is asking for each of us to look to him as the answer. There is power in simply looking to him instead of trying on our own. It may not happen all at once. Forgiveness may need to happen over and over, as some old wounds like to resurface. But the command is still clear: forgive from the heart.

As we allow God to form us into people who forgive, this will almost always present itself as an opportunity to forgive. We must pray for these opportunities, and we must listen to the voice of God when these opportunities arise.

May God's forgiveness break our hearts today, so we may forgive others out of a renovated heart.

The Gospel According to Jesus (1 of 2)

I've been thinking about this since it came up in conversation yesterday. Could Paul's account of the Gospel throughout the New Testament be different than the one preached by Jesus? Paul's Gospel could be summed up something like this: Jesus died to forgive our sins, once for all, and he is our only hope for righteousness before God. I don't think this is contrary to Jesus, but it seems while Paul's gospel is all about grace, Jesus was often preaching about how hard it is to live rightly. Take for example the parable of the unmerciful servant. Look it up: Mat. 18:21-35. Basically, Jesus is saying that unless we are forgiving, God will not forgive us. Would Paul agree? Or would he say God loves us in spite of our shortcomings of non-forgiveness? What would most Christians say today? I think we often lean on Pauline grace instead of living in light of the Gospel. The Gospel isn't a rule to follow (forgive those who sin against you) but a lifestyle change (you have been forgiven, so forgive).

I look forward to hearing more from the source of the discussion, and I'll post a follow up later this week. If you are reading this and you have thoughts, let's hear 'em!

I Grow by Believing

Q - What one thing can you do this week to grow in your Christian faith?

Many answers come to mind when pressed with this question. The common ones are probably read the bible, pray, serve the poor, attend a service of some sort, etc., while some may even include confession, fasting, or some other "deeper" Christian discipline. While all these disciplines surely are useful for growth, I would submit a slightly different answer: belief. There is so much scripture (John 6:28-29, Col. 2:6, I Tim. 1:3-5, Gal. 5:6) surrounding this idea of belief, and a quick breeze through Matthew (8:26, 14:31, 16:8, 17:20) shows that Jesus' biggest criticism of his disciples is their lack of faith. Faith is central to the Gospel.

That's great, but how do I grow by believing? The exciting thing about Christian growth is that God is the one who does the growing. Faith is not the gospel's power in our lives, and it's a good thing, because if it were, we would be limited by the amount of faith we have. Jesus says that faith the size of a mustard seed could move a mountain. This is true because faith is not the power that moves, it is the switch that allows the Holy Spirit to flow. And believe me, if faith the size of a mustard seed could switch on the power of the Holy Spirit, mountains indeed would move. Faith, then, is the instrument for receiving the power of God in our lives.

You may be feeling this way: "Faith is some kind of spiritual energy you get when you obey. I do not have much of it." This vague feeling is common among Christians, yet it's a misunderstanding of faith. The truth is, faith is simply a sinner looking to Christ. This looking is the instrument of change.

So, to grow as a Christian this week, simply look to Christ. Many times we sin and repent, then sin again and figure 'what's the point?' 'I'm just going to do it again anyway.' That IS the point! You will sin again, probably sooner than later. But by looking to Jesus instead of ourselves to make things right, we exercise faith, which switches on the power of the Holy Spirit to work in our lives.

What area of your spiritual life are you trying rather than trusting God?
What would trusting God in this area do to your spiritual life?

Going All the Way

One of my favorite pastors at one of my favorite churches has just finished a book entitled, "Going All the Way: Planning for a Marriage That Goes the Distance." This book is out and will soon be on my shelf, because those of us already married know that the planning doesn't stop at 'I do'. I'll be reviewing the book for you once I've read it, but I wanted to give you the heads up on a new book from a great author.

For more from Craig Groeschel and lifechurch, check out lifechurch.tv for more great books and weekly sermon video. I've been an "attender" at their internet campus for a year now, and I can't tell you enough great things!

In Reply to Julie

"Julie said...

are you on another sabbath?

9/12/2007 10:00 AM"

I knew it would come, and then it came
your comment was funny, but all the same
I have to mount a personal defense
That will show my latest absence
Is justified, though not necessarily excused

Work has been fast paced
It feels like an arms race
My sick kid has needed my
extra attention, and that has tried
my patience, not necessarily my strength

My blog is important in the scheme
Of my own sanity, and others seem
to desire more thoughts written out
for all; So to your comment about
blog Sabbath, though not necessarily unmerited

no.

Blog Sabbath

In church this morning, we studied sabbath. I have been on "blog sabbath" for the month of August. My apologies to all my many readers (especially Julie) for not posting a pre-sabbath blog to let you know not to expect anything for a month. However, I didn't actually go on sabbath until halfway through August. :)

Good news, I'm back. I've re-discovered a lot about myself this past month, and I'm sure I'll be hashing many thoughts out here. One such re-discovery is how much I love reading Plato! Being a Philosophy major, I've read and studied a lot of Plato's writings. However, I haven't read Plato at all since college, and I'm not sure I've ever read his writings for pure pleasure. This past week, Diane has started reading The Republic through a site that gives you a daily chunk of the book by email. She said the passage she was reading reminded her of me, and as she started reading some of it out loud, I realized how much I enjoy the "Socratic Method" that Plato employs. In much of Plato's writings, the main character, Socrates, is a wise old man whom young students come to for answers to hard questions. Often they are trying to define hard words such as knowledge, love, or justice. The Socratic Method is where the student asks Socrates a question (what is the meaning of Justice?) to which Socrates provides an answer (that the student always agrees with), only to completely refute the answer by asking the student a series of logical questions. Here is an example from Plato's Republic.

Tell me, do you think there is such a thing as a function of a horse?
I do.
And would you define the function of a horse or of anything else as that which one can do only with it or best with it?
I don't understand.
Let me put it this way: is it possible to see with anything other than eyes?
Certainly not.
Or to hear with anything other than ears?
No.
Then, we are right to say that seeing and hearing are the function of eyes and ears?
Of course.
What about this?
Could you use a dagger or a carving knife or lots of other things in pruning a vine?
Of course.
But wouldn't you do a finer job with a pruning knife, designed for the purpose than with anything else?
You would.
Then shall we take pruning to be its function?
Yes.
Now, I think you'll understand what I was asking earlier when I asked whether the function of each thing is what it alone can do or what it does better than anything else.

This is an example of the Socratic Method. Socrates is the character asking all the questions and posing all the answers. The fun part is that he's about to ask the unwise character to agree with the function of something (justice) only to ask another question that makes the function of justice something completely different! For some, this is confusing and a waste of time. But for me, it's like climbing a mountain: once you get to the top, there's nothing to do but go back down again...but it's not the destination that gives the journey meaning, but the journey itself.

Monday's with JC

As most of you know, I take Monday's off to spend with JC. Yesterday was an exceptional day with him (maybe because of the 3 1/2 hours of naptime!). We had a lot of fun together, as you will see below. The highlight of the day was the short walk we took at Lake Zorinsky. Here's a picture of JC with my hat on!








And here are a couple videos of him dancing!



As much fun as I had spending time with JC, I was able to spend a refreshing amount of time with God yesterday, too. Sunday was my personal dedication to ministry. I have always known I wanted to be in ministry (whether that means in the church or in the business world), but something changed on Sunday while I attended a 75th anniversary celebration for my in-law's church in Fremont. God definitely had a sense of humor in this one, because the service was 2 hours long on a Sunday afternoon, and I didn't know any of the old guys who were speaking. But it was God who would do the speaking, and while they were celebrating 75 years of church history, I was being commissioned for church future. The interesting thing about God's clear message to me is the first season he has called me to: prayer. Again with the humor, God has me all fired up for ministry, though I don't know what it is, and yet my first assignment is to spend an undefined amount of time in prayer and scripture before a holy God.

God, in his wisdom, gave JC a long afternoon nap, of which I prayed. And prayed. And read, and prayed. And for the first time in a long while, I wasn't praying for answers. I was on my face before the Most High, in the presence of the Holy One. I was asking about the future, but not with anxiety, but rather with excited anticipation of the next season of life. The where, what, and how weren't important...they why and who were ever so clear.

I spent a lot of time yesterday listening for God to speak clearly. I heard nothing...instead, I experienced his presence, his peace, and his comfort. I could feel the Holy Spirit in the room as if he were standing over me, saying nothing, yet his message was clear: "Recognize your sinfulness! Your ministry is not about you or your efforts. It is the work of Christ in you that will impact the world."

Come, Jesus. Come.

Derek Webb - intro to The Wedding Dress

Tubes

JC went in to have tubes put in his ears this morning. He's a trooper...check out his stylin' threds!


He's home and doing great. The drugs they used made him pretty tired...he slept for four hours for mom today!

JC at 1 year

I'm just finally getting on youtube, so this video is about 6 months old. It's still fun to watch, though, so enjoy!

Imperatives : Requirements :: Indicatives : Revelations

The following quote was posted on another blog I read. I really like it, but the uses of "imperative" and "indicative" sent me back to my dictionary...the quote really rests on these two words, so I wanted to reflect upon the words themselves.

Imperative:

1.	absolutely necessary or required; unavoidable: It is imperative that we leave.

2.	of the nature of or expressing a command; commanding.

Indicative:
1. showing, signifying, or pointing out; expressive or suggestive (usually fol. by of): behavior indicative of mental disorder.

I like to use synonyms to help understand a reading. For imperative, use requirements, and for indicative, use revelations. Here's the quote:

Sinclair Ferguson,

“The great gospel imperatives (requirements) to holiness are ever rooted in indicatives (revelations) of grace that are able to sustain the weight of those imperatives (requirements). The Apostles do not make the mistake that’s often made in Christian ministry. [For the Apostles] the indicatives (revelations) are more powerful than the imperatives (requirements) in gospel preaching. So often in our preaching our indicatives (revelations) are not strong enough, great enough, holy enough, or gracious enough to sustain the power of the imperatives (requirements). And so our teaching on holiness becomes a whip or a rod to beat our people’s backs because we’ve looked at the New Testament and that’s all we ourselves have seen. We’ve seen our own failure and we’ve seen the imperatives (requirements) to holiness and we’ve lost sight of the great indicatives (revelations) of the gospel that sustain those imperatives (requirements). … Woven into the warp and woof of the New Testament’s exposition of what it means for us to be holy is the great groundwork that the self-existent, thrice holy, triune God has — in Himself, by Himself and for Himself — committed Himself and all three Persons of His being to bringing about the holiness of His own people. This is the Father’s purpose, the Son’s purchase and the Spirit’s ministry.”

Musings of a Stay at home Dad

I'm a stay at home dad on Monday. Kristen and I have it worked out so JC only goes to daycare 3 days a week. He loves it when he's there, and sometimes I wonder if he would rather be with his friends that with me on Mondays. And when I let it, being a dad can be harder than working in an office full of raging hormonal women! (you know it's true). But the truth is, there's nothing like spending the day with JC. Taking care of him is only frustrating when I am being selfish. Yeah, it's hard to take the Huskers 80 yards for an X-box touchdown when he's turning the TV off every few minutes, and I miss showering alone...but when I'm with him for him, not for me, it becomes a blessing. It's hard though...we have this game where I put him in a room, run down the hallway to hide, and jump out when he comes down the hallway. When it's about me, we do it a few times, laugh, and then I don't hide and the fun is over...but when it's about him, there's no telling how many times we'll walk the hallway. How could I not hide again, knowing how big he's smiling as he walks towards me? We played that game today until I hid and he stopped off in the kitchen for some milk.

**************

Life throws interesting pitches. There are a good share of changeups, curveballs, screwballs, spitballs, knuckleballs, and sinkers, all of which will blindside you if you don't see them coming. For those, you adjust or you look like a fool.

But right now, life is throwing hard fastballs. You know what's coming, and life knows you know. Life stares you in the eye as if to say, "There's no way you'll hit this. You better not even swing." And all you can do is stare back with a, "Try me."

Life hurls a heater, swing-and-a-miss. The second pitch comes faster than the first, but forget the strike zone, this one's coming in high and tight. As you pick yourself up from the dirt, you're glad to be alive. As you foul the third pitch over the third base dugout, you give the pitcher an "I dare you to throw another one" wink. The pitcher miss interprets your wink, and tries to put the ball IN your eye. Here you sit, 2-2 count, and life isn't playing games. You dig in for another fastball, because you know it's coming. It's you against life, and life isn't backing down.

*********

A Prayer of Moses, Man of God*

God, it seems you've been our home forever; long before the mountains were born,
Long before you brought earth itself to birth,
from "once upon a time" to "kingdom come"—you are God.

So don't return us to mud, saying,
"Back to where you came from!"
Patience! You've got all the time in the world—whether
a thousand years or a day, it's all the same to you.
Are we no more to you than a wispy dream,
no more than a blade of grass
That springs up gloriously with the rising sun
and is cut down without a second thought?
Your anger is far and away too much for us;
we're at the end of our rope.
You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed
since we were children is entered in your books.
All we can remember is that frown on your face.
Is that all we're ever going to get?
We live for seventy years or so
(with luck we might make it to eighty),
And what do we have to show for it? Trouble.
Toil and trouble and a marker in the graveyard.
Who can make sense of such rage,
such anger against the very ones who fear you?

Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach us to live wisely and well!
Come back, God—how long do we have to wait?—
and treat your servants with kindness for a change.
Surprise us with love at daybreak;
then we'll skip and dance all the day long.
Make up for the bad times with some good times;
we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime.
Let your servants see what you're best at—
the ways you rule and bless your children.
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,
confirming the work that we do.
Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!

*Psalm 90, The Message

what the crap...

yeah, but does he have a social life?

Best Friends

It always amazes me how fast time goes by. My first roommate when I moved to Omaha was a guy named Brandon Keepers. I always tell people that I moved to Omaha to follow Kristen, and if that's the why, Brandon was the how. I didn't know anything about anything, and without Brandon's help, who knows how long it would have been before I moved back in with Mom and Dad! But through it all, Brandon and his wife Dustyn have become two of our favorite people in the world.

In 2005, Dustyn was accepted to seminary in Holland, Michigan, so they packed their things in a giant truck and headed out to replant themselves. We helped them pack their truck (sort of) and sent them off, promising as anyone would that we won't lose touch.

Since then, Brandon has gone into business (web development), Dustyn has been to Kenya, and currently they're both in Israel. WHAT!?!?!?!?!? Obviously we haven't kept up on our promise. However, there is always opportunity for renewal of broken promises! I emailed Brandon out of the blue the other day, and he responded right away. It turns out, Brandon can still work on web code from Israel, which makes it a "working vacation" for him. I'm in the wrong industry, I think. Brandon is also a great photographer, and has taken some amazing pictures in Israel. Check out his Flickr page: http://flickr.com/photos/bkeepers/sets/72157600387409518/

I have added Brandon's blogs to my Google Reader so that each time he posts, Reader will notify me. Now, if you read his blog, and you know as much or less than me about web coding, you won't understand anything! But, I want to be notified each time he posts, not so I can read about Ruby on Rails, but so I can be reminded of our friendship. As I'm reminded of our relationship, distant as it may be, I can renew my promise--and the great part is that we can pick up right where we left off two years ago.

So Brandon, if you read this, we miss you guys, love you guys, and can't wait to see you again.

Occurrings

Two things occurred to me today. First, I haven't blogged yet in July, and it's the 17th...that's way too long to go without a blog. And second, I often post other blogs to my shared reader page via google reader. It's really quite cool. So, there are things out there I want to say but couldn't say any better, so I post them to my shared page. Check it out...there are some really cool articles there, and there's even a feed!

http://www.google.com/reader/shared/15726211578200248279

I promise I'll write more soon! Trust me, I have a lot I'm thinking about. It just takes so darn much time to think about it!

Aspens

While in Colorado a couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to do some photography. Here are a few of my shots for your enjoyment.

Barna on Lukewarm

The Barna Group recently put out an interesting article to go with my previous post. Here's an excerpt:

Like the lukewarm church at Laodicea that Jesus said in the Book of Revelation He was about to spew out of His mouth, The Barna Group in a recent study assessed American Christianity as neither hot nor cold.

"Most Americans do not have strong and clear beliefs, largely because they do not possess a coherent biblical worldview," said David Kinnaman, president of The Barna Group. "That is, they lack a consistent and holistic understanding of their faith. Millions of Americans say they are personally committed to Jesus Christ, but they believe He sinned while on earth."

Read the whole article here.

Flatlands

|Catfish|

I'm back in Nebraska.  Here are a couple reasons why that statement goes in this section: 

 

1. It's hard to find passion and excitement in Nebraska.  Sure, you can do something illegal or go somewhere were lots of people are (CWS) and find excitement...but it's not the same as standing on top of a rock looking back over the 500 feet or so you just climbed without any ropes.  It's not the same as pulling someone out of a white water river with sharp jagged rocks for a riverbed.  And even the CWS can't compete with a midnight hike to a mountain meadow far enough away from any artificial light that you can see stars that make you wonder if the seven or eight thousand feet higher you are help you see stars you're sure you've never seen before.  No, this feeling does not replicate itself in the suburban jungle.

 

2.  The mountain top experience of Colorado was also a spiritual experience for me.  I traveled with a church youth choir that did not limit itself to large churches full of Colorado Christians.  Instead, we sang at homeless shelters, homes for women and children, public restaurants, and Salvation Army homes, all the while serving those we sang to as fellow human beings.  I was so proud of the kids on the trip for their genuine interaction with people from starkly different backgrounds.  None of the kids displayed the sense of entitlement that is so prevalent in upper-middle class suburbanites.  It was a blessing to be in the presence of God as I watched relationships build, and people be people.  Someone on the trip said the hard part will be taking the mountain top experience back to the people in the valley who need to share the hope we've been given.  I disagree, but only slightly: I think the hard part is taking hope back to the flatlands where people have forgotten they need hope at all.

 

|Gospel|

Jesus told his disciples to take the good news of the coming kingdom to all people groups.  There is an interesting cycle happening in our churches.  It seems we're either too focused on ourselves, or too focused on global needs that we forget to give hope to Suburbia.  There is so much need in our world, so many people living in inexplicable conditions; it is no wonder the church has honed its focus so tightly overseas.  And the global need is nowhere near satisfied.  It will take a tremendous act of God in the world through generous, self-less Christ followers to eradicate this type of poverty.  But Jesus' letter to the church in Laodicea (Revelation 3) could be, and in my book should be, renamed to be the letter to the church in Suburbia.  For those of us who live here, this is a reminder of the mission field that begins at our sidewalk and winds throughout our neighborhoods.  If you live in Suburbia, the following is for you:

 

"I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot - far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, 'I'm rich, I've got it made, I need nothing from anyone,' oblivious that in fact you're a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless.

"Here's what I want you to do: Buy your gold from me, gold that's been through the refiner's fire. Then you'll be rich. Buy your clothes from me, clothes designed in Heaven. You've gone around half-naked long enough. And buy medicine for your eyes from me so you can see, really see.

"The people I love, I call to account - prod and correct and guide so that they'll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!

"Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. That's my gift to the conquerors!

"Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches."

 

Listen to the Wind Words.  The Spirit is indeed blowing through our churches.  If this strikes with your heart, but you don't know how to pray about it, the lyrics to the following song have been helpful for me.

Decide This Doubt for Me - Lyrics

Decide This Doubt for Me - MP3

I pray you always find hot the coals of your heart.

 

David's Mighty Men

I'm totally intrigued right now with the Mighty Men. Their stories are written in the bible, 2nd Samuel. I wish I could have known these men! One of them, with winter snow on the ground, went down into a pit and killed a lion. Another was on the front lines of a battle, and when his entire army retreated and ran back to their city, he stood his ground and killed 300 men with his sword! These men did amazing things, and thousands of years later their stories are being told. I wonder what stories will be told of me after a generation goes by, let alone thousands of years.

It strikes me that a man who would slide into a pit with a lion has either great courage or an intelligence deficiency. Seeing as it was a snowy day, the lion was probably walking along, minding his own business (or worse, hunting) when he lost his footing in the snow and slid into a pit. Try as he might, the lion cannot escape the pit, and is still there when Benaiah finds him. The last time I happened upon a lion in the wild who had spent God knows how long trying to climb snowy banks without success, I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you slide down there with that lion and kill him. He seems pretty pissed, so you're just putting him out of his misery." No, 'fraid not. I would be the one high-tailing it out of there in case the lion gets one good footing and flies out of there, hungry and mad. Sliding myself into a snowy grave with a hungry, pissed off lion is not my idea of a courageous afternoon activity. Maybe that's why no one is writing stories about me, or naming me among mighty men. Heck, I'm not even trusted to ward off scary men in the office.

Now, apart from my cynicism, here's reality: there aren't lions in pits in my neighborhood. So here's where the dialog begins. What are some 21st Century examples of heroism and courage? Can those acts be performed by an average guy, or do you have to achieve some sort of status to be recognized in this way, and if so, what is that status level?

Storm

|Catfish|
So I didn't start blogging for a long time because I know myself well enough to know I would post several times the first week, once the next week, and then forget about it for several weeks...then post several in a week... I hate being a creature of habit, especially when the bad habits are easier to form than the good habits.

One of my bad habits is neglecting work that needs to be done. I've been getting better when it comes to lawn care. Monday was my planned day to mow, and when I went out to begin, there was nothing but blue sky to the south. To the north, a towering wall of solid cloud hung like a curtain, waiting for the cue to throw open as the show begins. To the south, ninety degrees and not a cloud in the sky. To the north, a wave of cool air was washing over the beach between me and the mountainous mass, only the wave didn't recede back to its master. It moved over the earth, cooling the air in a moment. It felt as if I pushed my mower off a diving board into the kind of water that takes your breath away. The excitement of the approaching storm caused me to finish a 25 minute task in 15 flat. If only I could get into the habit of finishing lawn work ahead of every storm! Instead, too often I let the storms bring rain to an already overgrown lawn. By the time I get around to mowing after the storm, there are large game animals taking shelter under the blades of grass.

|Gospel|
The spiritual habits form in much the same way. As spiritual beings, we are constantly in need of maintenance. We must keep our spiritual well-being groomed and prepared before the storms hit. Otherwise we will be caught off guard, and there will be no time for reforming ourselves. Jesus warned us of the storm that is coming.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. (Matthew 24:42-45)

It's not a surprise. Jesus is coming back! We don't know the hour, but we know the event is inevitable, and could come at any moment.

There is a storm on the horizon. I can't tell you when the rain will hit my house, but I know it's going to rain. There are signs if only you'll look for them. So get your lawn mowed already.

Consumer vs Member

Ok, Will is on to something. I don't know Will personally, but I read his posts on the Coram Deo blog all the time. Lately, his focus has turned to individualism. In a blog post yesterday, he used the following chart to illustrate the practical ways to identify consumer tendencies. Check the graphic out and you will see what I mean. By the way, for the sake of conformity to the style of this blog, consider the |catfish| section to be the consumer column, and the |gospel| section to be the member column. Check out the graphic, then check out Will's post.

Blessing God

|Catfish|
I put a lot of my eggs in this basket: total depravity. There are a lot of intelligent writings and convincing arguments for total depravity, but I believe it based on something else - my own inability. As I mature as a Christian (stop laughing - I know I'm just a guppy), I continually see the gap between me and God spread wider and wider. He's holy. I'm depraved. He's really holy. I'm really depraved. He's really really...etc. I think you see where I'm going. As God reveals himself to me, I become continually more aware of my inability to be like him without intervention by him.

Sunday, the sermon was about authentic worship. A quote, "Worship is about me blessing God, not about God blessing me." What? What can I do to bless God? What does he lack that I can show up Sunday morning and give him? If I'm totally depraved of anything good apart from God, the only thing good I have to give him is what he's given me already. Worship isn't about me...I think this was well put on Sunday. It's not about my preferences, my taste, my desires, my anything. But how is it about God if there's nothing I can do for him? WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME?

|Gospel|
For God so loved the world, he gave his only son. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God doesn't want me to show up and sing the loudest, give the most, kneel at the front the longest, pray the hardest, raise my hands, or close my eyes in order to bless him. Instead, I think God wants us to come to worship as a community to communally admit our depravity, and to allow Him through the community of believers to heal and bless us through the forgiveness of the Messiah and by the power of the Holy Spirit.

This is an ongoing process in my mind. Maybe you process on this too, and have comments. Maybe you've never thought about it, and have comments. Maybe you should comment!

Speak the Truth

|Catfish|
People do bad things. More Catfish: Religious leaders don't say what needs to be said. I've heard a lot of talk about the one we lost (the shooter). In other words, we (Christians) didn't reach out to him with the love of Christ, so somehow we're partly responsible for the evil things that others do.

I struggle to understand how that works. When I open a door for a stranger, am I showing Christ's love? Is an atheist who opens the door for a stranger showing Christ's love? Is it that simple? I don't think it is. I'm hoping this topic will encourage the oracle to post more on holiness. I think you're on to something, but I'd like to hear you flush it out a bit more.

|Gospel|
Religious leaders don't always say what needs to be said. With the country watching, we had the opportunity to explain to the world the reason for this tragedy, and the hope that comes in it. We didn't. We may have lost one in the shooter, but how many millions did we lose by not speaking the truth.

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
~1 Peter 3:15-16

Throwing up

|Catfish|
I spent the better part of last night "bowing to the porcelain God" as my friend Max would surely say. I hate being sick...I hate puking...I hate the other parts of being sick...but most of all, I hate losing control unwillingly. I like to put my feet up and watch a little TV at night, but I hate being strapped down to the couch by a stupid sickness. I like to be lazy when I want to be lazy, not because every time I try to get up, I nearly pass out. I like to be in control.

Control freaks like me know exactly what I'm talking about. And there are more of us than you are ready to admit. If you've ever cursed your bladder because you hadn't planned on a bathroom break, you might be a control freak. If you can't decide on a restaurant, but as soon as someone else suggests a good one, you come up with your own selection and then insist on it, you might be a control freak. If you resist change in your organization because you aren't on the leading edge of the change, you might be a control freak. If you are frustrated because you can't edit this Foxworthy reference out of my blog...you might be a control freak.

I'm not a good person when someone else tries to control me. Most of the time when I get upset, I remain in control as a means of feeding my ego (remember, I like to be in control). But when the thing that upsets me is someone controlling me, it's hard to find pride in allowing that to happen.


|Gospel|
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
~excerpts from Romans 7 & 8

Control is not mine. Paul makes it clear that I'm either being controlled by my sinful nature, or I'm being controlled by the Spirit. It's not mine to have. Jesus and I struggle to get this one figured out, because I want to be good, but I want to be the one who makes me good. I want to be responsible for my successes. I want to be praised for being good. But Jesus wants me to give all that up...to defer success and praise to him. I know that's how I ought to live, but my ego gets in the way. And the one thing I know he won't do is take control. He waits for me to give it to him. He knows how much I would hate him for taking it from me without asking...he knows me well enough to sit back and let me "control" what's going on until I realize I can't control my life without the Spirit anyway. I eventually make it back to a place of humility...it just depends how much I want to suffer first.